Extroverts Can Be Loners, Too.

how solo travel taught Sarah Silvia to love spending time alone

Apr 18, 2025

When Sarah Silvia booked a one-way ticket to Spain to become an au pair just a few months after graduating college early, she had next to no travel experience under her belt and wasn’t sure what to expect.

But something clicked. What started as a leap of faith ended up becoming her new way of life. Now, solo travel isn’t just something Sarah enjoys—it’s something she actively seeks out to reset, explore, and learn more about herself.

In a conversation with A Merry Loner, this former barista, ESL teacher, and self-described extrovert shares how she grew to love spending time alone, why flying solo feels easier abroad than at home, and how solo travel can actually be one of the best ways to meet new people.

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AML: You’re such an extrovert, so did any of that solo travel change the way you feel about being alone?

SS: Yeah, before I started traveling, I wouldn’t do anything alone. Even just going to the grocery store, I would text a friend and ask them to join me. I always just liked being around people. I never get tired of it.

I never felt that need for alone time until I had a lot of it.

But then I moved to Spain and spent a lot of time alone. And when I came back home from Spain, I had this feeling like, “Oh my God, I need to spend some time alone” after being at work all day.

I never felt that need for alone time until I had a lot of it. And then I was like… I kind of understand this now—this need to retreat and be by yourself and have alone time.

AML: How does alone time at home compare to alone time while traveling?

SS: It’s strange—I feel totally fine doing things alone when I’m abroad—like going to dinner, walking around a city, even just sitting at a café for hours. But at home, I don’t really do that. I wouldn’t go out to dinner by myself or go sit at a bar. And I don’t really know why.

Maybe it’s because when you’re traveling, no one knows you. There’s this sense of anonymity—you can do whatever you want, and no one’s watching or wondering why you’re by yourself. But at home, especially in Rhode Island, which has a small-town feel, I’ll probably run into someone I know. It just feels… different. Even though this is my comfort zone, being alone in public here feels kind of awkward.

“When you’re traveling and you don’t know anyone yet, if you don’t do things alone, you don’t do anything.”

And part of it might be that I don’t have to do things alone when I’m home. I have my family, my childhood friends—I always have someone I could call.

But when you’re traveling and you don’t know anyone yet, if you don’t do things alone, you don’t do anything. You don’t have a choice.

AML: What advice would you give someone who wants to get into solo travel or has maybe tried to but didn’t love it?

SS: First of all, just realize what you like. When it comes to traveling alone, I am really big on food and coffee and sights. And beaches and sunsets and nature hikes and stuff like that. The first thing I do when I get to a new place is look up specialty coffee shops—that’s my first stop.

But some people love museums; they love art; they love theater. So I would just say: Focus on what you like in cities. Because if you find something that you’re comfortable with, then I think that will entice you to keep going.

AML: What’s one of the biggest benefits of solo travel compared to traveling with friends?

SS: I have pretty much always just solo traveled. But then one summer I spent two weeks backpacking in Albania with one of my closest friends—and that trip was when I met the least amount of people ever.

We realized that by traveling together, we weren’t as approachable. But then I think of the amount of times where I’ve been sitting alone and someone comes up and approaches me and then we start a conversation and a friendship from that…

“You can do more if you’re willing to be independent.”

When I was with someone already, no one would just come up. You’re much less approachable in a group or in a pair than you are when you’re by yourself. That’s a very vast difference I saw, and I think one of the main benefits of solo travel. It’s not about being antisocial, but you can do more if you’re willing to be independent.

There’s a kind of freedom in being alone that no one talks about enough.

A Merry Loner is a digital space for those who find joy in solitude—and strength in their own silence.

We’re redefining what it means to be a loner. Not lonely, not antisocial—just grounded in your own world, and thriving there.

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Keep reading about how self-proclaimed extrovert Sarah Silvia found her inner Merry Loner during solo travel.

Or catch up on these Loner reads:

💍 How to Get Over Yourself and Go to that Damn Wedding, Gloriously Solo

🌻 Embrace Being a Loner—Why Now Is the Perfect Time

💚 No Date? No Problem—A Guide to Dating Yourself in 2025

⭐ Food Editor Ally Mitchell on the Power of Taking Risks Alone

🍷 26 Best Bars in Providence: Insider Tips from a Native Rhode Island-er

That’s all for now.

Happy weekend,
Merry